Today I went to film my 2nd YouTube video, because well, that’s what famous YouTubers do, we make videos.

You should have seen me go. I had flashy studio lights shinning, I was making mistakes (bloopers in the making) I even destroyed the entire recipe and had to trash the whole video. Okay, we can probably salvage the introduction but the part where I am actually making it, it went real wrong.

I overestimated the amount of pumpkin I needed and the truffles turned into pumpkin pudding something. It tasted amazing though so I had to turn it into something so I tried to make some legit Bulletproof Cookies (those hadn’t been done yet, so I figured it could be me). Well, those got messed up too but Mercury is in Retrograde or some shit I blame the stars.

The good news is the third time really is a charm. You see, there is a recipe for Bulletproof Cupcakes using a Sweet Rice Flour and I happened to find some today. Though I attempted to make cookies the consistency was more like a super moist cupcake. Then it hit me…I’ll make some bread! But no ordinary bread, Bulletproof bread, oh and pumpkin flavor.

Because the cupcake batter is more cake like than bread like, I figured this would make a really good sweet bread as opposed to any sort of sandwich bread. The final product was ridiculously good, it tasted like the best french toast you’ve ever had only better because it’s totally sugar-free and loaded with healthy fats and protein.

Ready to make some pumpkin bread that is so good you’ll want to smack your mother, but you won’t because who smacks moms?

Here’s what you’ll need:

Here’s how you make it:

  1. Preheat oven to 350°F
  2. Grease bread tin with coconut oil.
  3. Powder the xylitol in a coffee grinder. Pulse it so friction doesn’t melt the xylitol into a sticky mass! Set aside.
  4. Stir the butter in a double boiler on low.
  5. Mix 6 Tbs of the powdered xylitol, salt, and all 6 egg yolks and beat on medium to high speed for about 3 minutes until very thick.
  6. Using a silicon spatula if you have one, fold the egg/xylitol blend into the butter and then add your sweet rice flour and pumpkin and mix.
  7. Now use a separate bowl to beat egg whites on high speed until soft peaks form. Then slowly add the 6 remaining Tbs of xylitol/erythritol and beat until medium-firm peaks form.
  8. Now use that silicon spatula to fold the egg whites into the butter/egg yolk mixture. Do it in small batches, not all at once.
  9. Pour it. Using a silicon spatula, get all the batter our of the bowl, except not all of it because you need to save some to lick.
  10. Bake for 20-30 minutes, checking the middle with a tooth pick to see if it has cooked all the way through.
  11. Use a wire rack to cool completely then take pictures of you eating it to prove to friends, family and strangers that you can bake, which is a rare skill today.